A Myriad of Muck in the Mud Puddle of Myrth

Originally posted on July 8, 2005. Editorial content inserted by the editor.

As many know, I often make jokes about communism. This has been somewhat bolstered as of late, as one of my co-workers at Wal-mart jokingly (or not?) blames the communists for anything bad that happens. "Hey Mike," I'll say, "This box is mislabeled." His response will often be something to the effect of "Ugh... the communists." Perhaps they are responsible, perhaps not. I suppose we will never know.

I also often identify socialism with communism, as well as many unions with communism. This is mostly in jest, as I don't really believe that most unions, socialists and the like are full of card-carrying commies. Or are they? All this talk of communism at my new job reminded me of something I saw at my old job. It seems that everyone that worked at this warehouse was given a union shirt. Fine. No big deal. It says something like "Union local 666" or something. It may not have been 666, but it was a three-digit number of some kind. There is nothing wrong with this. However, when I saw the top of the shirt and saw what was written there, I was a bit shocked. It said "Unite!" Now this would be all fine and good out of context. However, when you already jokingly identify unions with communism and you know anything about communism, this changes the meaning of that word entirely. Why, you ask? Because probably one of the biggest catch-phrases for communism has been "Workers of the world unite!" And when I see a worker of the world sporting a t-shirt which says "Unite!" I begin to think that the communists are taking over. What I find incredibly funny about this is that I would imagine that most of those that are wearing those shirts have no idea what their shirt is ultimately saying.

What is also kind of interesting is that I moved from that job (which I quit once I realized that there was a revolution a-brewin') to Walmart, who is staunchly anti-union. Now they aren't technically anti-union, but Walmart is set up as much like a federal democracy as possible, and a union takes away the ability for communication which Walmart thrives on. Or at least thats what they say. I see it, but it obviously isn't utopia. I have plenty of things wrong with Walmart as well. (A year later and I have wholly decided that this looks great on paper but doesn't work at all.)

So communist propoganda is alive and well here in this great country we call Canada. It is sneaking in through the unions, and through the NDP. They are trying to make this land into worker's paradise. And frankly, I will have none of it. Well except for the free health care. And perhaps some of the other things that come with the welfare state. But other than that, none. We must weed out the commies by spending more money to reinforce capitalism. So buy me gifts. Lots of them.

Okay, I'm done now. Rant... over.